Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Vendor Cart Hot Dog Photoblogging: Maybe the Bun Is The Hardest Part?

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Actually, no, it's still the relish which presents the biggest challenge to the limners of hot dogs. To make up for the repeat earlier, here's a bonus hot dog for the day. And by the way, while shooting these I could hear Glenn Beck and Michele Bachmann, from across the Mall, droning on and on about all of us losing all of our freedoms. It seemed appropriate.

And look! It's Cooper Black! My favorite typeface!

Vendor Cart Hot Dog Photoblogging: The Relish Is The Hardest Part

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Ha ha, I just realized I've shot this one before, albeit at a different location. It was bound to happen. The other photo is a lot better. Oh well!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

LOLborshuns!

According to this article at Salon, the religious right wants to appeal to young people by "making abortion funny." For once, I'd like to help them out, so I'm proud to present LOLbortions:






And as a special bonus, please enjoy this blastLOLcist:

Friday, June 14, 2013

Photoblogging: Well Hello There, Miss Squirrel!

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I was sitting outside my workplace yesterday when this fine rodent just had to wander over and say hello, which made me happy because I didn't even have any food on me at all, so it was pure curiosity and... well, it probably thought I had food anyway. She had no issues whatsoever with having her portrait taken, and even struck some fetching poses. So cute. I love squirrels. 

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Diagonal

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Wednesday, June 12, 2013

What Do Sick Children, Piano, Golf, And Intervention In Syria Have In Common? Condoleezza Rice!

Well, my goodness, readership of this blog has been plummeting lately (too much photoblogging on the photoblog, I imagine), so I guess I better write about Condi! What I love about Dr. Ferragamo is that she is one of the most boring people on the planet, and yet, paradoxically, she's superfun to talk about, and, well, let's face it: she is my muse! So let's play catch-up, shall we?

OK, so first of all, there is nothing more thrilling to me than an article about America's Princess Diplomat which includes the magic words View the Slideshow, and that's what we get from Al.com, your source for all things Alabama. Follow plucky Condi and her golf buddy, Tom Lehman, as they exploit, I mean visit (sorry!) Children's of Alabama, a hospital positively brimming with sick youngsters with whom concerned celebrities may pose. The first photo is my favorite because it's so utterly baffling:

(Joe Songer/jsonger@al.com)

I love that Al.com feels no need to explain what is happening is this bizarre photograph. It looks all the world like they are examining an industrial dijonnaise bladder.  I could write a play based upon this photograph. Maybe I will! Here's an *exclusive* excerpt:
Nurse: As you can see, the industrial dijonnaise bladder has loads of personality. I call this one "Caroline."

Condi: I can't tell you how moving it is to see this industrial dijonnaise bladder.

Patient: I like to place small objects on the industrial dijonnaise bladder. It makes me forget that I'm sick.

Tom Lehman: This is the greatest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Note the skill with which she places the small object on the industrial dijonnaise bladder.

Nurse: She's come a long way. Only two days ago this patient was too depressed to care about even small, single-serving packets of America's favorite mustard/mayonnaise-based condiment, and just look at her now!

Condi: Have I mentioned that we should intervene in Syria? *breaks into song*

And then it's somebody else's turn:


Truly, life is so much better when you have no idea what's going on. If Condi has taught us anything, it is that. Look at her! She is transfixed!

I suppose I could, you know, READ the article to see if this mysterious series of photographs is explained but... see the preceding paragraph.

OK, next! Earlier in the month, Our Beloved played piano in –get this– Beverly Hills for her charity which benefits music programs for children. That's fine! I have no problem with that.

On the other hand, would you believe that Condi wants us to intervene in Syria? Of course she does. And it's so wonderful that CBS News pays her to sit there and say, "the United States doesn’t have an option of no action"? Money well spent! It turns out that ONLY the United States can intervene, because if we don't, something will spread. I'm not sure what will spread. Condoleezza Rice doesn't really say what, exactly, will spread throughout the region, but it's sure to be bad if the United States doesn't further complicate things. Because we can! This is the entirety of her argument. Adorable.

Finally, most college students will have fun this summer, but a handful of young people at prestigious Buena Vista University in bustling Storm Lake, Iowa, have been singled out for punishment and sentenced to the dreadful task of reading Condi's books to that they can chat about them with the author this Fall. Poor things.

This has been your Condi Update! Go forth with this knowledge and prosper!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Martin & Me

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I usually try my hardest to avoid including my own reflection in the tour bus photographs, but in this case I'll make an exception, and not only because I'm wearing a 1980s Hawaiian bus driver's uniform shirt. I like the complexity of this image, which is not Photoshopped in any way.